Growing up in a largely White town with very few minorities, I had my share of microaggressions, sheer ignorance, and even experienced mild racism. What I had very little idea of, until one fateful summer in Pakistan, was Shadeism. If you're not aware of what shadeism is, you're privileged. Shadeism happens when someone is discriminated upon based on their skin tone. Yes, that's right - it doesn't just end at White, Black, Brown, whatever - it continues onto shades or tones. And of course, the lighter the better.

I was a little taken aback with the bluntness and at times rude curiosity with which I was met. Relatives asked me why I wasn't "White" or at least lighter - and I began to realize I wasn't just brown (or tanned as I was calling it) skinned, I was another level of brown. I still didn't think much of it, because I had just turned 13 and undergone my Hollywood makeover - hair down, contact lenses in lieu of glasses, and MAKEUP. I wasn't very discerning with my choices, and I embraced colors wholeheartedly. Apparently, in some parts of the South Asian diaspora that is not something someone with skin as brown as mine should be doing.

I am very comfortable, if not happy, with my looks so I wasn't never overly concerned when people offered unsolicited comments or compliments. It's not that I'm bad with taking compliments, I'm just not terribly bothered. I think this may be because Pakistanis (at least those I've come across) are quite opinionated and quite overzealous with the sharing of those myriad of opinions - so the incident I'm about to bring up must have had more of an impact than I realized. And here it is - the day, the moment, resurrected from within the deep recesses of my psyche.

I was  on my merry way to a place I cannot recall, when my "friend" who was picking me up along with her mom, noticed my nails. "Let me see your nails," she demanded but instead of admiring them as I expected, she grimaced and said, "Ugh, gross. You shouldn't be wearing yellow". "FRIEND'S NAME!" her mom chided her in a tone, which I now recognize as the My-Child-Needs-a-Filter voice because I've had occasion to use it. I think I was too embarrassed to respond but my friend sure wasn't as she continued, "but the color is too bright for her dark skin."

I mulled it over and obviously never paid it much heed, because I went on to not only spray tan my Brown into a warmer, richer, Golden Brown but to also wear all kinds of colors: brights, muted, pastels, fluorescent and upon some stealthy facebook investigation she hasn't, so to each their own - throwing shade isn't my thing. ;-)

I'd love to wax lyrical about this awesome Pink Prairie dress from Liquor and Poker. It's denim, it's pink, and it has ragged edges. I call it Asylum Chic. I paired it with my ZARA plimsolls and a green clutch I got from Forever 21 forever ago (ha!).